Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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