jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Pooping to opera.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
