what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Randomize
