I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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