Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i dont even know how to be here
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
