i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
