i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Randomize
