ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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