The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he fucked my hip out of place.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
