We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize