she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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