He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
