he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
