dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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