I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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