I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize