so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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