that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
