you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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