you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
