who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
