eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
