Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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