The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize