He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
