I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
