I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
