It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
