and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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