At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize