does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
