on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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