literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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