thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
