But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
