my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
