Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
