You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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