Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize