I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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