I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
