before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
