More tranny stories later!
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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