i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
