Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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