oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize