i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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