Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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