you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
this is an emotional support booty call
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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