Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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