All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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