She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
