yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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