If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize