so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Randomize
