Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize