dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
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