so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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