Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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