whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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