I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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