Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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