Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My liver just broke up with me...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize