She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
