After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
