Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize