i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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