I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
