mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
