Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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