Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
